Uncontrolled flaring of anger can take a toll on your career and relationships as well as in your health. It is never good for you and for the people around you if you always cannot control your temper.
According to a research, anger can also increase risks for coronary heart disease, insomnia, headaches and digestive problems.
The decisions we make when we are in rage can often lead to bigger problems and may come back to haunt us. So, it is never advisable to make decisions when you’re angry. Simmer down first and deal with your anger before you deal with anything else.
There are healthy and unhealthy approaches to tame down your temper. You can choose to let it consume you or you can choose to take control over it. Here are some ways to help you win over your hot temper.
1. Think twice before you speak.
It’s easy to get carried away by your emotions. Reacting or speaking in the heat of the moment will surely result to something you will definitely regret. Instead of jumping into conclusions and blurting out the first thing that comes into your mind, take a couple of deep breaths and collect your thoughts.
Analyze if what you’re going to say or do will help the current situation. Will the words that will come out of your mouth deserved by the person you address it to? Give yourself a short break – a time to internalize and prepare to handle what’s ahead without having to burst like Hulk.
2. Once you have cooled down, express your concerns.
As soon as you’re collected and your senses have come back, state your frustration in a calm and assertive manner but not in a confrontational way. You can address your anger without going overboard. Shouting and irritating gestures will just make the situation worse. Instead, do it in a better way. Choose the right words to say and be sensitive of how others may feel.
Explain calmly why you are upset and how they have pushed your buttons. After successfully stating your side, listen to what they also have to say. Converse calmly and expand your patience so as to not let anger spin things around.
3. Release tension with laughter.
It could be a little awkward scene when the fight is over. Lightening and diffusing can help release tension. So as not to scar the relationships of the people involved, apologizing is an immediate must. As what Mark Jeffries said, an apology can go even further if there’s some humor along with it.
Jokes can work even before the fire flames up. It’s one of the best ways to diffuse a tense situation. However, humor is something not to be confused with just “laughing off” your problems without having to resolve them. Rather, it is something to help you face these problems more constructively. Be careful not to use sarcastic humor as it may be another form of aggression.
4. Picture your anger in a third person point of view.
Trying to visualize how you look like when your raging out of anger will help a lot in calming you down. A third person point of view can be useful for problem-solving and at times when you’ve lost sight of things. The automatic response to a rising temper is to get angry, raise the tone of your voice and the unleashing of the monster inside. If you would only try to watch yourself in this situation looking like King Kong or Hulk with matching arms waving wildly, you would probably snap out of it immediately.
You may be concerned about what frustrates you but you also care about how you would look like too, for sure. This technique will help you realize how foolish you might look being not able to control your anger and being too much hot-tempered.
5. Manage your triggers.
Being aware of what constantly irritates you is a big advantage to control your anger. In this way, you might actually be able to stay away from it. Or if in any case some of your triggers are people close to you, you could try discussing your points with them instead of putting them down and building up a wall. It is likely that they will try to help instead of aggravating you.
When you aware of what your triggers are, you can do something about it earlier and avoid future conflicts. It can also give you a head start for you to be able to prepare for it beforehand. You can try to negotiate or complain a little before it gets worse as long as you do it in the right and respectful way.
Learning how to control your anger can really be challenging. Always think of it as something beneficial to you and the people around you to keep you motivated in toning down your temper. Positivity can also be a major help to be less hot-tempered.
But if your anger continues to stay out of control despite of trying your best to do anger management techniques, then you might actually need to consult help from a professional.
Did these techniques help you in controlling your temper? Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments below!